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Jacob's Confessions by ~moni09:iconmoni09:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Horror & Macabre > Open


My bones had been broken,
but my battle is won.
My heart is tattered.
To her; I am second or none.
She loves me but not the same way.
With Edward, she chose to stay.
The long, tortured soul of mine is waiting for the day.
In August; if I wish to go I may.
She has the ring to prove him her love.
Though my human is flying away like a dove.
©2007-2010 ~moni09
:iconmoni09:

Author's Comments

This is another poem from the Tilight series. This particular one is from the third book. Eclipse.

Comments


love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconroseforlorn:
~RoseForlorn Nov 19, 2007, 3:12:48 PM
Out of the context of the literature you're referring to, the last line sticks out like a sore thumb and abruptly hinders the thought you were developing with every other line.

I think you could maybe make reference to some sort of clue earlier on so that any reader can enjoy the romance [and lack thereof] taking place?

"Second or none". I love your play on words with that line. Of course, I have a soft spot for clevernesses. :D
:iconmoni09:
~moni09 Nov 19, 2007, 4:51:06 PM
I'm not really sure if that was a compliment or an insult. In the line "My human is flying away,"I meant that Jacob's human (Bella) is soon to be a vampire so her human is flying away. I meant it in a way that Bella is soon to no longer be the human that Jacob loves. Either way I thank you for the comment.:)
:iconroseforlorn:
~RoseForlorn Nov 19, 2007, 9:13:01 PM
None of it was intended as an insult. ^^;

All I was saying is that if you haven't read those books, the last line of your poem is very confusing.
:iconmoni09:
~moni09 Nov 20, 2007, 4:31:11 PM
Oh yeah I've read all of them. I just ment like the human Bella that Jacob fell in love with will no longer be human anymore. In the third book Jacob wonders if he will hate her after she is turned because of the wolf in his blood. So I just used it as in soon Bella won't be human. The dwindling(sp) time being the dove flying away, carrying her human away with it.:) That's all.
:iconemoqueen103:
~emoqueen103 May 18, 2009, 6:43:16 PM
that was a sexy ass peom
it rocked my world for a whole two secs.
o and did i say that shit was sexy
i coulld never write anything like that sexy ass peom
SEXY ASS POEM
i'm on that dead for real type stuff like
:iconmoni09:
Mood: Optimism ~moni09 Jun 4, 2009, 6:58:07 AM
Thanks lol

--
POWER TO THE PENGUINS!!!
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